The Slave
by Lady Tsuru27
Summary: Harry loses control during an occlumency lesson, and Severus Snape has to suffer the consequences... Probably slash later on, implied RL/SS SB/SS Yes, I'm still updating... Sorry that it's taking so long!
1. Occlumency Gone Wrong

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I am merely writing this for my amusement as well as the amusement of those who read this fic.

Title: The Slave

Warnings: Cursing, maybe some slash later on (that's male/male romance, people; don't like? Don't read!)

Pairings: Sirius x Severus, Remus x Severus

Rating: PG-13 to be safe

Genre: Humor

Summary: When Harry is pushed too far during an Occlumency lesson, Severus Snape suffers the consequences…

Notes: OK, I've decided to take a break from SSBB for a while. I've got bad writer's block… Anyway, my husband is sitting this one out; he's not too interested in Harry Potter, and is too busy to write fics anymore… =( This fic is the result of reading _Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix_ too many times. Oh, and the SB/SS pics on DeviantArt… Anyway, I don't really know how long this one will be. It could be a few chapters, or it could go on for twenty! Either way, enjoy! ^_^

Chapter 1: Occlumency Gone Wrong

Harry Potter sat on the stone floor, confused and a bit afraid. He didn't know what had happened. Snape had been probing his mind, he had gotten angry with the potion master's taunts, and then… With a sick feeling in his stomach, Harry looked across the room where said potions master was now sprawled unconscious on the floor. He had actually attacked his teacher. He had meant to cast a shield charm, but had been thinking about casting _Crucio _on the greasy-haired git… Actually, he couldn't remember which of the two spells he had actually shouted.

It wasn't as if he felt very sorry for hurting the man. Snape was, after all, his most hated teacher. However, he was sure that if the unconscious man wasn't actually dead, then he would certainly make sure that his student was. If he **was **dead… Needless to say, Harry didn't want to think about **that **scenario…

For a long time Harry sat on the floor, uncertain about what to do. _"First I should see if he's alive…" _he thought, though he was reluctant to approach the teacher. Finally, he stood up and crossed the office. Looking down at the man, Harry could see that his chest rose and fell steadily. His eyes were closed, and he was very still. He was alive, though.

Now Harry wondered what he should do. He remembered a bit of information from a Health class long ago, when he attended muggle school. The voice of his fourth-grade teacher sounded in his head, saying, "Should you ever come across an injured person, or witness a person being injured, do not move them until help arrives."

That was one option down. Harry glanced towards the door, wondering if he should go find help. He hesitated to do so, though. If he left the room, then there was a chance that the professor would wake up and notice him gone. If that happened, then Harry was sure that the greasy git would go flapping off to Dumbledore's office, complaining of Harry's "hit-and-run attempt at murder." Then again, there was the more likely possibility that someone else would come into the room and see the unconscious professor. A few inquiries would reveal that Harry had been seen going into the office last, and then his fate would be sealed.

Deciding against going for help, Harry began steeling himself for the moment when Snape would wake up and kill him.

He didn't have to wait long.

The corridors were deserted at that time, as most of the students had gone to their dorms or were still at dinner. Still, Harry had stationed himself by the door just in case someone passed by. He hoped that he could flag down a teacher and ask for help. He was straining to hear the sound of footsteps when his ears picked up an entirely different sound. Snape was groaning behind him.

With a feeling of dread, Harry turned to see the potions master sitting up groggily. The man blinked a few times, and then looked up at Harry. The boy didn't say a thing as Snape frowned up at him. Harry was sure that he'd get a thorough tongue-lashing before being hexed into the middle of next week. The professor opened his mouth, looked about to say something, then closed it again. He did this a few more times, and then spoke with obvious sincerity.

"Who are you?"

Harry was startled by the soft tone of the professor's voice. "Um… Sir, surely you don't mean me?" it couldn't hurt to be polite, especially under these circumstances.

"Who else is in this room, besides us?" there was the familiar tone, though it lacked the usual malicious edge that Snape reserved for Harry.

"I- it's me, Sir," Harry took a step towards the professor, "Harry Potter, remember?"

"Harry Potter…" Snape seemed to think about this for a moment, then he said, "I do not remember that name. As a matter of fact, I do not remember this place…" A frown creased his brow as he looked around worriedly, "Where am I? And… who… am I…" Slowly, he looked down at his own hands. They were trembling, and Harry realized that the professor was afraid.

With this realization came another cognizance that he, Harry, was responsible for this. At a loss for words, Harry said the only thing that seemed appropriate at the time: "Oh, bollocks…"

*****

By the time Harry had explained everything to Dumbledore and McGonagall, Severus was already in the infirmary. Madame Pomfrey was busy with a sick student when the two elder professors entered the room. They both walked directly to Severus' bed, where he lay with a look of utter confusion on his face.

"Hello, there, Severus," Dumbledore pulled a chair closer to the bed to sit on it, "How are you feeling?"

"… Not so well…" Severus frowned at the other two, "Forgive me, but…"

"Ah, yes," Dumbledore said before Severus could finish, "Forgive **me**, my boy. I've not properly re-introduced myself. I am Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster here at Hogwarts. I assume Poppy has told you that you are at Hogwarts?"

"Yes…"

"Good, good. Then allow me to re-introduce Minerva McGonagall."

"…It's a pleasure…" Severus said, extending his hand to each of them in turn, "I suppose you know who I am…"

"Of course," McGonagall said, "We have worked together for fourteen years. Professor Dumbledore and were also your teachers when you were a student here. Do you remember?"

"I- I'm sorry… No…" Severus shook his head, lowering his eyes to his lap.

"It's all right, my boy," Dumbledore patted Severus' leg reassuringly, "We'll find out what's wrong with you, and hopefully have you cured soon."

"I'll go get Poppy," McGonagall said, and walked into the little office where the med witch was still applying an ice pack to the student's forehead. The two women returned in a moment, and Pomfrey greeted Dumbledore warmly.

"Poppy," the elder wizard asked, "What is his condition? Did you contact St. Mungo's?"

"I did," Pomfrey nodded, "They said they can't do much about it. It's retrograde amnesia, you see. It's very hard to cure completely. It seems to be magically induced. What happened?"

"Just an accident during a lesson," Dumbledore said, "I'm afraid a student underestimated his own strength. What is the outlook for his treatment?"

"I'm afraid I don't have a treatment planned yet," the med witch sighed, glancing at Severus' glaring face, "However, we need to keep him someplace quiet. It would be very bad for him to be confronted with too many familiar things at once, and we need to keep the number of visitors down for a while. It could actually make his condition worse if we were to overload him with information."

"I see," Dumbledore turned to Severus, who was scowling up at them, "Well, Severus, would you be comfortable with changing your living arrangements for a while?"

"Oh, are you addressing me?" the dark-eyed man sneered, "Am I to assume that I should turn my sense of hearing back on, as you are finished talking **about **me?"

"Haha!" Dumbledore chuckled and patted Severus' leg again, "Good to see you've retained your personality. That's something, at least. We're terribly sorry for speaking about you while you were present."

"…Fine…"

"Very well, then. Severus, would you object to a change of scenery?"

Severus looked around at the plain infirmary. He didn't really like being stuck in that bed, and he didn't feel like staying there for Merlin knew how long. "I would be agreeable to that…" he said, looking back at Dumbledore.

"Good, good," the old man stood up and nodded to Severus, "Until tomorrow, then. It is a good idea for you to remain but one night here, so Poppy can keep an eye on you."

"Yes, Sir," Severus agreed, and leaned back on the pillows as Dumbledore and McGonagall left the room.

As they closed the infirmary door behind them, McGonagall asked, "Well, then, what place did you have in mind for Severus' recovery?"

"Number twelve, Grimmauld Place," the headmaster replied without hesitation.

"G- Grimmauld Place?" McGonagall put a hand to her throat in surprise, "Headmaster, permit me to ask why, of all places…"

"Oh, it's the safest place I can think of. Unless you want him to stay here, and possibly be driven to madness by the crowds of students who, I'm sure, will be very curious about this new development."

"I see your point. However… Well, with his rivalry with Sirius… You don't think Sirius would do anything to harm him?"

"Minerva, you know Sirius as well as I," Dumbledore paused to observe a small group of students scurrying away from the library as Madame Pince shouted at them. "He is not the same foolhardy schoolboy he once was."

"Yes, but he is an exceedingly irresponsible man…"

"Perhaps, considering Severus' condition, he can find a bit of maturity in himself."

"I hope you are right…" Minerva sighed as she parted ways with the headmaster to deal with the giggling group of students who thought that they could get away with causing mischief in the library.

TBC

Well? It's sort of an experiment, since I've never written HP fiction before. I'll continue if I get at least one good review, so… please review! Good, bad, neutral… I want to know what you, the reader, thinks of this story. I'm open to criticism. ^_^


	2. Welcome to the House of Black

**Notes: Thanks so much to all of those who reviewed! I'm glad that it's OK so far. I just hope I can keep it up! The idea's sort of been in my head for a while. In fact, it originally came to me while watching Overboard a few months ago. You can probably see the similarities. Anyway, enjoy! ^_^**

Chapter 2: Welcome to the House of Black

It was shaping up to be another boring day. Sirius had felt it the moment he'd gotten up that morning. The dense fog outside hadn't let up, and his bedroom was veiled in a gray light that made the drabness of the place even worse. Breakfast had been boring as well; Lupin was absent, and there was only the miserable house elf for company.

Thinking of Kreacher dampened Sirius' already dour mood. He wondered where the little monster had gotten to. Perhaps he had finally crawled into some corner and died. With an irritated snort, Sirius stomped into the drawing room and began to flip through some of the books laid on the coffee table. He had read "Quiddich Through the Ages" at least two dozen times, and "The Iron-Fisted Wizard" had turned out to be a cookbook. He was scanning the pages of a romance novel left by Molly when he heard the front door open.

"It's me," he heard Remus call from the hallway.

"Oy!" Sirius tossed the book aside and went to join his friend in the doorway, "Where've you been, mate? It's been too dull here without someone to talk to!"

Remus seemed fidgety. "Ah, let's talk in the kitchen, shall we? I'm a bit hungry."

"Sure, sure," Sirius followed Remus into the kitchen and leaned against a counter as his friend rummaged through the pantry, "So, where have you been, eh?"

"Well… You see, ah, there's something we need to discuss…"

"Out with it, then!"

"It's about Snape…"

"Oh, really?" Sirius snorted as Remus sat at the table with a cut of salted beef, "What about him? He didn't snort a student up those big nostrils of his, did he?"

Ignoring Sirius' chuckle, Remus cleared his throat and said, "No, this is a serious matter. Hear me out, will you?"

"Sure, go on then."

"There has been an accident," Remus avoided Sirius' eyes, "He… ah… he will have to stay here for a while…"

"WHAT?!" Sirius leapt upright and stomped towards the table, "You can't be serious, Moony! Snivellus, staying here? What, does he want a rematch? What about Harry's Occlumency lessons?'

"Calm down, Sirius…" Remus sighed, "Please, listen. He's been injured. There was an accident, and he's… well, he's lost his memory…"

"Lost his--" Sirius cut himself off, his brain kicking into high gear. He didn't know what to make of this development yet, but he saw the potential immediately. There was surely a laugh to be had, somewhere down the line.

"Yes, he's suffering from retrograde amnesia. He needs to stay someplace quiet until he can begin his recovery. Now, I know that you're thinking about all the mischief you can cause here…" he gave Sirius an accusing stare, "However, it could severely hurt him if you were to pull one of your pranks. He barely knows who he is, and he probably doesn't even remember us."

Sirius remained quiet throughout Remus' lecture, weighing the pros and cons of starting something. Pros: He would get to add another victory over Snivellus to his rather long list. He would also probably have a good laugh. Cons: …Well, he couldn't think of any, really.

"…your best behavior," Remus was saying when Sirius tuned in again, "You should also refrain from trying to make him remember anything; Dumbledore said that he needs as much rest as possible."

"Moony, I hear you," Sirius sat down next to his friend and put an arm around his shoulders, "And I would have disagreed, had this happened a few years ago. But I'm an adult now," he grinned, "I can contain myself. I can even help the little git!"

"What do you mean, help?" Remus wondered, but Sirius was already walking out of the room, "Wait a minute!"

"Hm?" Sirius paused in the doorway.

"He'll be here this evening," Remus said, "I won't be here, as I have business to attend to for Dumbledore. You promise to behave?"

"Remy," Sirius' face broke into his trademark charming smile, "I wouldn't dream of crossing you! If it's rest he needs, then it's rest he'll get!" "And after that…" he thought as he walked out of the room, "Well, we'll see…"

*****

12 Grimmauld Place was as dreary a dwelling as anyone could imagine. Severus looked up at the gray building with a feeling of foreboding. Dumbledore had told him that he had been here before, though Severus didn't recognize it. However, he couldn't shake the feeling that he disliked this place immensely. It wasn't the drabness that bothered him. He couldn't quite explain the reason for his feeling. He and Dumbledore ascended the steps carefully due to the dampness on the stones. As the old wizard reached for the knocker, he gave Severus a reassuring smile. For a moment, Severus felt a little better.

Then the door opened, and he came face-to-face with a villain.

The man was scraggly and much taller than him, staring down at him with piercing gray eyes. He was handsome, but the scowl on his face was menacing. Severus was sure that he'd never seen this man before, but he knew immediately that he disliked him. Cocky, arrogant… these words seemed to describe the man who was now ushering the visitors into the house.

"Hello there, Sni-- er, Severus," Sirius had to bite his tongue to keep back the insult he so wanted to throw at the other man, "Dumbledore, good to see you."

"My, my," Dumbledore smiled faintly, "You seem to be much more polite than when I was last here. Has Remus spoken with you, then?"

"Yeah," Sirius closed the door behind the two, scrutinizing the potions master with a calculating look. He seemed to be utterly confused, and was looking about the place with a little frown.

"Then can I assume that you will be on your best behavior?" Dumbledore asked him, "You won't be letting silly boyhood differences cloud your judgment, will you?"

"Don't worry, sir," Sirius grinned, "I promise to be good. Maybe this is just the chance Sevvy and I need to… ah… start over."

Severus looked at Sirius dubiously, and Sirius flashed him a smirk that he hoped would put him ill at ease. It seemed to work.

"Well, then, I must be off," Dumbledore turned towards the door, taking Sirius off guard. He had expected the old man to stay a bit longer, or at least to "introduce" them. "Farewell, Severus, Sirius," he opened the door, "Remus will be here to check on you shortly." With that, he left the two younger men alone.

Sirius turned to Severus only once the door was shut. He already had a plan in his head. "Well, then, do you know who I am?" he asked the amnesiac.

"I suppose I should, but I do not," Severus said calmly, eyeing the other man cautiously. He hadn't liked the way he had smirked at him. His strong feelings of dislike were growing stronger by the minute. He had a brief, almost imperceptible conception that he was facing the devil incarnate. The man had Lucifer's good looks, but an evil glint in his eyes.

"Then allow me to introduce myself," Sirius gave a mock bow, "I am Sirius Black, and this is my home. Welcome back, Severus."

"…Thank you…"

"So, Severus, what has Dumbledore told you?"

"Nothing…" Severus said almost bitterly, "He told me my name, and that I have lost my memories. That is all."

"Well, then perhaps I should enlighten you?" Sirius said with false concern; Severus could detect the note of sarcasm in his voice, "I know they said that you can't handle too much at once, but… well…"

Severus frowned as Sirius held up a strip of something. It was a collar. He held it before Severus' face, allowing the silver tag to dangle in front of him. It had Severus' name on it. The amnesiac's eyes widened as he realized that it was his.

Still holding the black collar, Sirius said, "You're mine, Sevvy. My slave, you know."

"Wh- what?" Severus tried to recall if there was still slavery in Britain. For all he knew, though, it was alive and well.

"Yep, I bought you a few years ago!" Sirius continued, trying to conceal his grin, "You cook, clean… You know, the usual things." Barely able to keep a straight face, he moved forward to put the collar around Severus' neck.

Severus, however, wasn't having any of it. He backed away into the drawing room, covering his neck with his hands. "You can't mean it…" Severus muttered. He may not have known very much, but he did know that he detested the thought of being someone's slave. It almost made him sick.

"Aww, Sev, it's OK!" Sirius put an arm around the other man's shoulders and held the collar up for him to see, "It's not spiked or anything. It's the most comfortable one we could find, remember? You liked it so much, I bought it for you straight away, despite the cost."

Severus stared at the offending strip of leather for a minute. Then he looked up at Sirius and stated, "Proof. I want proof that I am indeed your servant."

"Slave," Sirius corrected, "And of course I'll give you proof! Just a minute…" Sirius pointed his wand towards the doorway and said, "Accio photographs!" Four pieces of paper came zooming into the room, and Sirius caught them and handed them to Severus. "Have a look!" he said triumphantly. After all, it had taken him the better part of an hour to transfigure the photos. He was proud of the results, as apparently they were plenty of proof for Severus.

The slender wizard stared down at the pictures, speechless. There he was, smiling and wearing the collar, as he swept the front hallway of the house. The next photo showed him kneeling before Sirius as the latter reclined in an old armchair. Severus was offering him a tray with a bottle of fire whiskey on it. In the next photograph, Severus was proudly displaying the collar with its shiny silver pendant; the last one was similar, only Sirius was in it as well. He was standing with one end of a leash in his hand. The other end was attached to Severus' collar.

"Well, then, that enough for you?" Sirius crossed his arms and tried once more to keep the grin off his face.

"…Y- yes…" Severus let the photographs slide from his hand onto the coffee table. He suddenly felt a little weak. "Tell me… I don't ever try to escape, do I?" his eyes searched Sirius' for some hint of uncertainty. Perhaps he really was lying…

"Of course not!" Sirius didn't even falter; Severus saw nothing but shock in the gray eyes, "You once told me that I'm much better than your last master!"

"My… last master?"

"Yeah, he was a real blighter," the grin was back on Sirius' face, "He used to beat you, you know. Would only let you eat once a week. He also made you sleep on the stepping stones outside his house!"

Severus arched an eyebrow at this. He could hardly believe that he had been subjected to such mistreatment without retaliating.

"Of course, he sold you because you hexed him," Sirius added, seeing the look of incredulity on Severus' face. He had always seen Snivellus as ugly, greasy, sneaky, and weak; but stupid was one thing that he could never accuse the Slythern of being. The man before him had always gotten better grades than him, proof that Snivellus hadn't ever had anything better to do than stick his large nose in a book and study. Sirius puffed his chest out a little in satisfaction of where his thoughts had taken him. Of course, the git's grades had all come from essays and the like; extra credit work. He wasn't very proficient with his wand.

"I hexed him?" Severus asked, thinking that it sounded a bit more believable.

"Sure," Sirius plopped onto the couch, "You, uh, hexed him really badly. He had great big scars all over his face." He had always been a good liar.

"I see…" Severus was giving him a scrutinizing look, "If I have such a history, then why did you allow me to keep my wand?" He fished the wand out of his cloak pocket and held it up for Sirius to see.

"Well, you're not much of a danger to me, eh?" Sirius chuckled, "I mean, you always said how kind I was. You didn't even have that wand when I bought you. You'd stolen his wand to hex him, and I bought you that one years ago. For Christmas."

Severus looked down at the wand, and then put it back into his pocket. "Any more questions?" Sirius asked, lounging with his hands behind his back.

"… What about my parents?" he asked, "Where did my former master acquire me?"

"Oh, well, you've been a slave your whole life," Sirius said absent-mindedly, "Yeah, your mother was a slave too, I think. Don't know where she is. Anything else?"

"No."

"Good! Then I guess you can get started on dinner. I know it's a little rough, being your first day back, but I'll clean up afterwards, OK?"

"Fine," Severus sighed. He still couldn't believe it. He walked into the hallway and, upon turning around to inquire about where to go, was pointed in the direction of the kitchen. As he walked into the room, he had to admit that it was familiar to him. He was even right when he guessed at where the pots and pans were kept. With another sigh, he set to work preparing the roast that he found in the icebox.

In the drawing room, Sirius was still lounging and allowing himself a laugh. The git actually believed him! He hummed to himself, reveling in how good life was. He got to pull one over on Snivellus, and he now had a much better and hopefully more proficient servant than the blasted house elf. Beginning to smell roast beef, he grinned to himself. _"I should have thought of this years ago!"_

TBC

Well? Reviews are always appreciated! Oh, and I'm thinking about changing the genre from Humor/Romance to just Romance. I think there are some funny moments, and the whole scenario is pretty funny, but it's just not the slapstick comedy that I had thought it would be. Not that it's a bad thing, but I think I'll change it.


	3. The Slave's Manual

**Notes: Thanks again for the reviews! A few people wanted to know what will happen when Sirius is found out. Well, here's the anticipated scene where Remus finds out! Or does he? Oh, and also, this chapter will be getting into some slash content! If that turns your stomach, then please use the emergency exit (marked like a backwards arrow on your web browser). Enjoy! ^_^**

Chapter 3: The Slave's Manual

The next day dawned gray and gloomy, as usual. The fog had lifted, but dark clouds were rolling in with the cold front. It had been chilly for the past week, though a bit mild for winter; today was bitterly cold. Despite all this, and the fact that Remus hadn't shown up yet, Sirius was in a particularly good mood. He hummed cheerily to himself as he got dressed, feeling refreshed despite sleeping so late. When he opened his bedroom door, he could already smell breakfast being cooked.

"Ah, Snivellus," he chuckled to himself as he descended the stairs, "What would I do without you?" He walked into the kitchen and grinned when he saw Severus standing at the stove, frying eggs and ham. His plan was working out better than he'd thought it would. He grabbed a slice of bread from the counter and sat down at the table. "Morning, Sevvy," he said brightly.

"…Good morning…" Severus mumbled, not looking up from his task.

"What's wrong? Didn't sleep well?" Sirius could barely contain his laughter.

Severus just nodded. How could he have slept well? He had spent the entire night wishing he were back at the Hogwarts infirmary. There he had actually had a bed. Here he slept on a blanket spread on the living room floor. He only had one pillow, and he had had to listen to the irritating rants of the house elf.

Then again, hadn't his previous owner made him sleep on a hard stone floor? At least the living room was carpeted. Though he didn't recall ever sleeping on a stone floor, he had to admit that it would be a lot worse than his current situation. He slid the eggs and ham onto a plate and walked over to the table with it. "Your breakfast…" he said, setting the plate onto the table.

"Excellent," Sirius said, picking up the fork that had been set out for him, "Go ahead and sit down after you get my coffee."

Severus sighed and poured the thick black liquid into a mug. As if his "master" needed any caffeine… he was jittery enough, being cooped up here. Severus had noticed how he fidgeted the night before. After setting the mug on the table, he lowered himself to the floor and arranged himself so that he was kneeling next to Sirius' chair.

Out of the corner of his eye, Severus saw Sirius look down at him. "What's with that?" he asked, motioning to Severus with his fork.

"I am sitting, just as you ordered."

"Yeah, well…" Sirius didn't know what to say for a minute. Snape was fitting into his role almost too perfectly. "You can sit on a chair, if you really want to. Or do you know how to?"

"… I assure you, I do. However, this is much more conductive to my work, as I can easily rise and attend to your needs." Severus had to force himself not to shoot a scathing retort at the other man. He had indeed been trying to fit into his role. The previous night, while he'd been restless and wandering through the house, he had found a book entitled _The Slave's Manual_. He had spent much of the night reading through it. If he was really a slave, and if there really was no other place for him in the world, then he would be the best slave in all of Britain.

"Uh… Right, then…" Sirius shrugged and went back to eating. He was surprised, but pleased at the same time. Severus had turned out to be a more eager learner than he'd hoped. _"This is just too good!" _Sirius thought to himself. He felt even more cheerful than he had before.

…Until the door opened, and he heard Remus announce his presence.

Sirius didn't have time to pull Snape up off the floor before Remus came into the room. "Sorry I'm so early…" he was saying, but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Severus kneeling next to Sirius. The black-eyed man glanced up at him for a moment, and then turned to face him and bowed his head.

"What did you do?" Remus asked, looking directly into Sirius' eyes.

"Uh… Well, I'll tell you," Sirius stood and walked out of the room, leading Remus along the corridor by the arm.

"What's going on?" Remus demanded when they were in the drawing room, "Why was Snape sitting on the floor like that? What did you do to him?"

"Ah, well, I can explain, Moony," Sirius held his hands up in a calming gesture, "Ol' Snivellus seems to be a little confused."

"Go on…"

"Well, I think he's having memories of when he was You-Know-Who's servant…"

"And…"

"And he thinks that I'm You-Know-Who," Sirius scratched the back of his head, trying to appear sheepish, "Isn't that the daftest thing you've ever heard?"

"He thinks that you are He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?" Remus asked incredulously, "Does he really?"

"Of course!" Sirius said, "Why would I lie to you, eh?"

"Why didn't you tell him he was wrong?"

"I did, but… Well…" Sirius leaned closer to Remus and said, in a conspiratorial whisper, "He didn't take it too well. He spaced out for nearly an hour, and I only brought him round again by telling him that I really was his master. I don't think it would be a good idea to try to convince him otherwise, right now… See, he knows I'm Sirius Black. He just thinks he's my slave."

Remus raised an eyebrow at this, but couldn't say anything against his friend. How could he prove that it was a lie?

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Severus was reading the manual. "A good slave always addresses his master as 'Master' or 'Mistress'," the book instructed, "You should use these terms as often as possible. Relatives of your master should be addressed in this way as well, with the addition of their names to the title. Example: Master John, Mistress Guinevere, etc. When concerning those who are outside the family, they should only be addressed as 'Sir' or 'Madame'. This is to reinforce your master's ownership of you. Therefore, we reiterate that you should never address anyone other than your true owner as Master."

Severus closed the book and tucked it into his robe. He had learned a lot of useful information. According to the book, slavery had been a thriving industry in the Wizarding world at the time of the book's release. If it had been so well-established in 1972, then there was no reason for the system to be non-existent now, in… whatever year it was. He really had no idea. The book explained that though slavery had been abolished in the muggle world several decades before, the Wizarding world was much different. It confirmed that slaves were usually nothing more than unpaid servants who couldn't eke out a living in any other trade, and that a person born to a slave usually became one themselves. Most slave children couldn't afford to go to school, and therefore could only hope to find low-wage work.

He remembered what his master had said about his mother. He had been a slave, then… However, he remembered Dumbledore mentioning that he had once attended Hogwarts. Frowning, he decided that he would ask his master later on. Perhaps he would know.

Severus' musings were interrupted by the door opening. In walked his master and the man who had come in earlier. This stranger was looking at him with a most curious expression, something like sympathy and incredulity. Severus lowered his eyes to the floor and bowed his head again. The book said that this was the best way to greet one's superiors.

"Ah, Sev, you can stand up now…" Sirius said, clearing his throat, "I told you that you didn't have to kneel like that…"

"Yes, Master…" Severus rose, but frowned when his master started coughing and clearing his throat. The other man was looking at his master with raised eyebrows.

"He calls you 'Master'?" Remus asked with a tone of disapproval in his voice.

"Uh, yeah," Sirius chuckled, "Goes with the territory, mate. So, uh, anyone up for breakfast?"

"What would Master's guest like?" Severus asked Remus, still keeping his head lowered.

"Um… You can just call me Lupin…" Remus glanced again at Sirius, who was busying himself with clearing away his own breakfast things.

"Very well, Sir Lupin."

"Uh, Sevvy, don't worry about it," Sirius said from across the room, "Remus can get his own breakfast. Why don't you go and… uh… I dunno, read or something."

"Yes, Master," Severus bowed to both of the other men, and then walked out of the room.

Remus was left looking flabbergasted. "Sirius, I don't have a good feeling about this…" he said as he grabbed some salted beef from the pantry, "You're telling the truth, aren't you?"

"Yes!" Sirius sighed in exasperation, "He just acts like that, I dunno why!" He joined his friend at the table, slightly irritated. It wasn't as if he would keep up his joke for very long. It was just easier to lie for the time being than to confess to Remus. He planned to have a good long laugh, and perhaps to live like a king for a while, before telling Severus the truth. With any luck, he could just Obliviate him and be done with it. Perhaps when he got his memories back, Sirius could show him the doctored photographs and really have some fun with him.

It sounded like a brilliant idea to him. No one would ever know, and he'd have some good photographic evidence to hold over Snape's head. Once again congratulating himself on how his plans always seemed to fall into place, he poured himself some more coffee and asked Remus how his negotiations with the werewolves were going.

After all, it couldn't hurt to change the subject.

*****

Meanwhile, Severus was reading through the manual in the drawing room. "A good slave always attends to his master's needs," it admonished, "Whether they concern his diet, comfort, or pleasure, you must always be sure to fulfill your master's every wish. The following is a list of things you can do to please your master."

Severus' frown deepened as he read through the list. These commands included things like, "Prepare meals at the same times every day, so that they are ready when the master is most likely to want them," and "When the master has had a hard day at work, do something that you know will relax him. Offer a massage, draw a bath, or have his favorite books stacked neatly near his armchair." He had failed to do a few of these things, and he felt that Sirius--no, Master-- must be very kind to overlook his shortcomings. If he was going to be the most dutiful and hard-working slave of all, then he would have to try harder.

One command caught his attention, though. "If your master seems so inclined, offer your body to him each night." That would be difficult. He had no idea if his master preferred men or women. He couldn't remember enough to speculate about it.

"_Oh, well," _he thought as he shut the book, _"I suppose I shall have to try." _He decided to offer himself to his master that night, just in case. If his master was not inclined to sleep with him, then he could explain that he had read the suggestion in the book. He would have to try, at least.

TBC

Well? Review, please! I like to know what you think of it, even if it's negative. And don't worry; there's no sex in the next chapter. Actually, I don't write sex scenes. I'm too shy about it! However, the next chapter will definitely have more slash. You can't say I didn't warn you from the start!


	4. My Best Friend is a Pervert

Notes: Thanks as always for the reviews! I really appreciate you guys, and I hope I can keep this story entertaining! Sorry for the long delay; real life happens, but what can you do? Anyway, I see that a few of you are hoping that Sirius will get the crap beaten out of him. Rest assured, he gets his in the end. Enjoy! ^_^

Chapter 4: My Best Friend is a Pervert

By the time dinner was ready, Sirius was beginning to think more seriously about his plan. He had thought that Remus would leave that same day. However, his friend was staying at Grimmauld Place until further notice. It could be days before he left. While Sirius was glad that he would have some company, it put a severe crimp in his plan. He knew that Remus didn't believe his excuse as to why Severus was waiting on them hand and foot. Luckily, the werewolf was too timid to bring it up. If, however, he gathered his courage over the next day or so…

"Thank you, Severus!" Sirius chimed as a plate full of food was set in front of him, "This looks great!" He hated being so nice to Snivellus, but he didn't want to bring Remus' wrath upon himself.

"Yes, it does," Remus managed to smile weakly at Severus when he was handed his own plate, though he glanced warily at Sirius. He was being suspiciously genial.

Severus went to kneel beside Sirius' chair, but thought better of it. Remembering what his master had said earlier, he asked, "Shall I sit at the table, as you asked me to earlier, Master?"

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius swallowed a mouthful of potatoes. His arch-rival was a better cook than he thought he would be. "Uh, you can eat, too," he reminded Severus when the other man sat down.

"Thank you, Master," Severus stood and took some food for himself, sitting down again with as little noise as possible. The effect was very graceful. "Will Master permit me to speak?"

"Yeah," Sirius nodded, and added, "You don't have to ask. Just speak." Remus had given him another pointed look.

"Then I will say that Master is too kind to me," Severus said, "Master allows me to eat every day, instead of once a week like my former owner. I am truly grateful."

At this comment, Remus glared at Sirius. Sirius grinned sheepishly, while Severus ate without raising his eyes to the other two. "That's weird," Sirius said, "What can I say? Amnesiacs say the damnedest things, eh?"

"Indeed…" Remus cleared his throat and began eating again, though he stole covert glances at Severus and Sirius. He was facing a moral dilemma that he couldn't very well brush off as nothing. Sirius was obviously up to something; Remus was willing to bet that Padfoot had convinced Severus of the whole slave business. However, if Remus brought it up to Severus, then he could risk putting an unnecessary strain on the potions master's mind. For the time being, doing nothing seemed the best course of action.

"So, uh, any word from Dumbledore?" Sirius asked.

"Not for a while, no," Remus replied simply.

"Ah. Well, he's a busy man, after all."

"Quite."

Sirius didn't like the tension that was building between them. Remus definitely suspected him. All he wanted was to pull off a good joke. However, with each subservient action performed by Severus, Sirius looked even worse. He knew Remus would not mention anything to Severus, but he might go snitch to Dumbledore. Perhaps it would be best to talk to Remus about it.

"Master, will you grant me permission to confront the house elf?" Severus asked after a long pause in conversation, "He has stolen my blanket. Of course, I am grateful to even be allowed to sleep on the carpet."

As Remus gave Sirius another glare, the animagus could almost swear that he heard the sound of a shovel digging up earth. It was the sound of his own grave being dug, and the pit got deeper every time Severus opened his mouth. He would have to confide in Remus, and hope that his friend would indulge him this one prank.

"I knew it…"

"It's just a prank!"

"I **knew **it!"

"Just harmless fun, mate!"

Remus glared at Sirius, and then collapsed onto the couch. "Sirius, did it ever occur to you that everyone must grow up sometime?" he asked, rubbing his forehead in irritation, "Childish pranks and silly jokes are all well and good when one is an adolescent; but someone in their thirties ought to know better."

"Relax, Moony," Sirius said in a placating tone, "It's not hurting the git. Sev-- er, Snivellus sort of had it coming, what with giving Harry such a hard time with the Occlumency lessons."

"Sirius, it's not up to you to disperse judgment on other people's actions!" Remus visibly bristled, "You've no right!"

"Hey, I'm Harry's godfather!" Sirius took a step forward, menacingly, "I have every right to defend him!"

"Defense is one thing, but outright revenge?" Remus glared up at his friend, but all the same he seemed to shrink away from him. The past few weeks had taken a lot out of him, and he had never been able to stand up to Sirius very well anyway.

"Listen, Moony," Sirius sighed, frustrated, "I've got a really good thing here, and I intend to see it through. I know he'll probably hex me to hell and back when he finds out about this…"

"Who? Dumbledore, or Severus? I'd say both of them will!"

"OK, fine, so they will!" Sirius threw his hands up in the air, exasperated, "If it makes you happy, I'll wipe his memory tomorrow, OK?"

"You can't do that, Sirius," Remus rubbed his temples gently, fighting off the headache that threatened to burst forth, "Who knows what that could do to him, in his condition… It might erase his memories forever."

"Well, there you go! Poor little Snivellus can't handle the truth, so I guess you'll just have to go along with it until it's safe to wipe his memory, eh?"

Remus looked up at Sirius, glaring with the malice of his inner wolf. "You've just got everyone where you want them, don't you?" he said ruefully.

"That's just the way it is, mate," Sirius shrugged in mock resignation, "Can't help it, can I?"

"Sirius…" Remus lowered his head again, "…Fine… Do whatever you want; I don't care. Just don't hurt him, and don't try to humiliate him. And for Merlin's sake, **let him sleep in a bed.**"

"OK, OK, I will!" Sirius held up his hands in a placating gesture, "It'll be fine! I've had a good laugh, and now we just have to wait until we can cure him, right?"

All Remus could do was nod.

That night, Severus was even more determined to prove his worth. His master had gotten his blanket back, and had even allowed him to kick the house elf in revenge. To top that off, he had told Severus that he would be allowed to sleep in one of the vacant bedrooms.

"But… Master, those beds are all too good for a slave… They are for Master and his guests," Severus had said, quoting his handbook almost verbatim.

"No, no, you go ahead and have one…" Master had glared at Mr. Lupin, though Severus didn't try to guess the reason, "They're old, anyway. And, er, you're a good cook and all, so I thought I'd reward you…"

Though his reluctant tone had confused Severus, he didn't press the subject further. He had moved into the room furthest from his master's, so that at least some respectable distance was kept. After all, he didn't want to make his master look like a commoner. The book strongly advised against that.

It was almost midnight now, and Severus could hear his master shuffling around in his bedroom across the hall. Mr. Lupin had already gone to bed, so Severus decided to make his move. The book-- which he carefully placed in the bedside drawer-- had warned him against exposing his master's sex life. If his master happened to require his services in bed, then it was best to keep it a private matter unless his master said otherwise.

He only had the few clothes that Mr. Dumbledore had brought for him upon arrival to Grimmauld Place, and Severus selected a simple black robe. With a quick severing spell, he hemmed the robe several inches above his knees. Putting it on and standing in front of the mirror on the wall, he thought he looked presentable. The book had also advised him not to wear too much clothing.

Casting a few more spells, Severus made sure to remove all body hair and to clean himself thoroughly. He had bathed that morning, but thought it sensible to touch up his cleanliness. Finally, he felt that he was ready.

"_Well, here I go…" _he thought as he crept down the hall, _"I do hope he rejects me… I do not enjoy the thought of lying with him, but he's been so kind to me… it is my duty, after all, and I'm sure that being with him would be far more pleasant than sleeping on a stepping stone…" _Reaching his master's bedroom door, he quietly knocked.

"Yeah?" came the voice from inside.

"It is I, Master," Severus said in a hushed tone. There was a shuffle, a click, and then the door opened. Sirius looked slightly annoyed at having been bothered, but his expression became confused when he saw the state of Severus' robe.

"Uh…" Sirius' brain went fuzzy for a minute before he snapped back to reality, "What do you want?"

"Master, I was wondering if you required… company for tonight."

"Huh?" the taller man wasn't sure if he'd heard right. Company? What did he mean by that?

"Do you want me to stay with you tonight?" Severus rephrased the question patiently.

"Wait, you mean…" Sirius was completely thrown for a loop. Never in his life had he thought that his worst enemy would suddenly ask to sleep with him. Then again, perhaps he was just wondering if he could be of help tonight. _"That must be it," _Sirius thought, almost in relief. "Why do you think that? I can get my own bloody glass of water, or whatever!" His temper was rising just from seeing Snape's face, though his eyes occasionally darted to his nemesis' long legs…

"Ah… Master, I meant…" a slight blush crept across Severus' face; whether it was a frustrated one or an embarrassed one, Sirius couldn't tell. "Do you wish for me to… ah… perform for you? In bed? Sexually?"

Sirius didn't reply. He just stared at Severus, dumbstruck. He had known that Severus had suffered some brain damage, but it was apparently worse than he'd thought. The man was completely bonkers.

"Master?"

"Uh… What? Oh… uh… well… huh… you…"

"Are you all right, Master?" Severus had to hide his increasing impatience. Did he want sex, or not?

"No… No!" Sirius finally choked out, "I do NOT want your 'services'! How ridiculous!"

"Forgive me, Master…" Though he knew he'd made a mistake, Severus couldn't help but feel a little relieved. He wasn't sure he'd know quite how to please him, anyway.

"Yeah, it's fine, just NO!" Sirius felt his face go red, and he stepped forward to grab Severus by the arm, "Go back to your room-- now! Get!"

There was a moment of awkward activity. Sirius was rigidly trying to lead Severus down the hall in the opposite direction of Severus' bedroom. He was too flustered to notice. Severus, however, was trying to gently goad his master in the right direction, since he didn't want to take a tumble down the stairs. They struggled feebly for a minute, and then Sirius realized his mistake. Muttering curses, he spun around, trying to drag Severus with him.

Unfortunately, Sirius misjudged the direction again and collided with the wall. The impact sent him reeling backwards, and he slammed into Severus. They both fell with a loud thump, and Sirius scrambled to roll over, raising himself by the arms. Severus was now trapped beneath him, his arms and legs splayed, and looking completely bewildered. Sirius was unsure of what to do-- yell at Severus, or apologize.

He didn't get the chance to do either one. Remus' bedroom door opened suddenly, and there was a minute of stunned silence. Then, quite unexpectedly, there came a loud yell: "BLOODY HELL, SIRIUS!"

TBC

I know, it's sort of cliché to end it on a cliffhanger. But… well, I just didn't see it going on any further without making this chapter twice as long. Anyway, remember that reviews are appreciated! And let me know if I'm getting a little too OOC, OK? I also realize that they're not clicking immediately, but I this will probably be a long story. They have plenty of time to reconcile... Anyway, thanks for reading!


	5. All Good Things in Time Must Pass

**Notes: Sorry it took so long! Again, life. What can you do? Thanks again to those who reviewed, or added this to your alerts list. I'm glad to know you enjoy reading this! I hope you continue to enjoy it! ^_^**

Chapter 5: All Good Things in Time Must Pass

Sirius was usually never one to be intimidated. He took pride in his bravery, feeling that he was truly a Gryffindor and that nothing on Earth could make him flinch, cower, or quiver in fear. Not even the dementors could subdue him, and he never thought that his goody-two-shoes friend could cause him to feel nervous in any way.

He had been very wrong.

As he sat on the couch, watching Remus pace back and forth, he consoled himself with the knowledge that he wasn't **afraid, **per se; he was just uneasy. Still, it was a sobering feeling. The last time he had seen Remus angry at all had been in the Shrieking Shack, when they'd cornered Peter. There wasn't the same emotion behind this mood, but he was still furious. Besides, now his anger was directed at him.

"Sirius, I- I don't know what to say to you…" Remus' voice was shaking with controlled fury, and Sirius involuntarily shrank back into the drab couch cushions.

"I told you, mate, it was an accident," he said quietly.

"Of course it was!" Remus suddenly shouted, "You were trying to herd him into your bed, weren't you? I saw that- that **robe**!"

"You've got it all wrong!" Sirius raised his voice in an effort to out-yell Remus, but the look on the werewolf's face lowered Sirius' volume a bit, "Ask him, if you don't believe me!"

Remus continued to glare at Sirius. "What else was I to think? I will be VERY surprised if he tells me it's his fault."

"Is this because I'm into blokes?" Sirius said in almost a hushed tone, and the effect was just what he'd wanted. Remus seemed to lose some of his anger, and he looked at Sirius with a truly wounded expression.

"N- no, not at all! Sirius, how could you say…" he sat down in an armchair across from Sirius, "It's not that, Pads… I just… Well, you can't say that it looked like anything else… And you, I mean… Well, I just thought that you were trying to humiliate him again." his fury had died down, but now a shadow of his former agitation crossed his features, "I thought that perhaps you would…"

Sirius stood and patted his friend's shoulder soothingly. "Remy, I know that you of all people wouldn't accuse me of rape, right?"

"…What was I supposed to think?"

"I know, you were being all righteous," Sirius sighed and crossed the room to look out on the black sky. "If I really minded it that much, you and I would never have been friends."

"I know…"

"Well, then go and ask ol' Snivelly what happened!"

"Very well," Remus stood, his expression set, "But if I find out that you…"

"Just go ask!" Sirius shooed Remus out of the room, then turned back to the window. He felt a little insulted that Remus would accuse him of rape. That was just as bad as murder, wasn't it? For a moment he wondered if he had the face of a criminal. Checking himself in the mirror, he reassured himself of his good looks. Then he casually followed his friend into the kitchen.

Severus was sitting at the table, looking sullen. Remus sat across the table from him and smiled at him, then turned and glowered at Sirius. "Do you mind?" he said, "I think he should be allowed to tell his side of the story without you threatening him."

"Fine with me, mate," Sirius backed out of the room, but stayed to listen at the door. He figured that if Severus lied about the incident, then he would have yet another reason to continue this prank. Curiosity prompted him to listen intently as Remus began speaking.

"So, Severus," Remus began, shifting nervously in his seat, "What just happened… Ah, that is, the incident in the hallway just now… What happened? And don't worry about Sirius hurting you if you don't tell it the way he wants you to…"

"Sir, I am not afraid of my master. I will tell you the truth; it was my fault…" Severus looked down at his folded hands, "I… got a bit eager to perform my duties to the very best of my abilities. I misjudged his needs, and was corrected. The fall was an accident."

"So, he didn't tell you to come to his room then?"

"No, sir."

"And the robe… The one you're wearing…"

"I dressed myself this way because I wanted to please him…" Severus' face was covered by a curtain of black hair, but he allowed his shame to come across clearly in his tone of voice.

"Oh… Well, OK then…" Remus sighed in relief, leaning back in his chair as he smiled slightly at Severus, "I- I just wanted to make sure that he wasn't coercing you into anything unpleasant…"

"No, Sir," Severus' expression was hard to read, but Remus was sure it was one of shock, "My master… is very kind."

The look in Severus' eyes made Remus want to give Sirius a good punch in the face. _"He's so trusting…" _he thought, staring into Severus' eyes. So trusting… yet so determined. Something in him reached out to Remus, nearly screamed at him, telling him that this was a one-time mistake and that he would never allow it to happen again.

"Ahem…" he cleared his throat and stood up, "If that's the case, then I suppose we should all put this behind us and go to bed."

"Yes, Sir," Severus stood and gave a little bow before following Remus out of the kitchen.

The door opened to reveal Sirius standing in the hallway, rubbing the back of his neck with his shoulders hunched. He seemed to be struggling with something in his mind. It took him a moment to notice that Severus was standing beside him, his head bowed and hands folded primly. "Uh… Well, I guess we ought to go to bed," Sirius said, addressing both Remus and Severus.

"That's just what I had suggested. Good night," Remus gave the other men a nod each, and then climbed the stairs.

Sirius glanced at Severus, who hadn't moved a muscle. The shorter man's eyes were lowered, as usual, and a slight blush was still spread across his face. Sirius wondered if he was really as embarrassed as he had sounded earlier. What really got to Sirius was that Severus hadn't been ashamed of his own immodesty; he was ashamed that he had caused **Sirius** discomfort.

"Oy," he said finally, looking Severus directly in the eyes when he looked up, "Uh… don't worry about what happened. Let's just forget about it…"

"Yes, Master. I am sorry."

"About what?"

"I have caused you embarrassment…"

"I said don't worry about it," Sirius said, "I mean, it's not like I don't like yo-er, **blokes**, it's just… You know, I don't want you as… well…"

"You would feel guilty using my body in that way?" Severus raised an eyebrow at his "master," and for a moment the true Severus Snape peeked through the false persona. It was almost as if he were mocking him… _"Ah, yes… The ever-honorable Sirius Black shows compassion even for his slaves. Owning them is fine enough, but you could __**never **__ask them to do something subservient in any way that would make __**you **__look bad…" _the slender man's sarcastic voice sounded clearly in Sirius' head, and he looked away quickly.

"Yeah, that's it…"

"…Very well, Master…" Severus bowed to him and stood waiting.

"Go on up to bed," Sirius muttered when he realized what Snape was waiting for. With another bow, Severus ascended the stairs and disappeared around the corner.

Sirius stood in the hallway for quite some time, thinking about tonight's events. He knew himself well enough to realize when he was beginning to have doubts. On the one hand he was a Gryffindor! Gryffindors **never **chicken out! On the other hand… Perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing to put an end to a prank that had gone on long enough. After all, he had the photos, and he had enjoyed a nice little break from the monotony of life on the run.

With a resolute nod of his head, Sirius started up the stairs. He would just have to find a way to wipe Snape's memory. Tonight, though, he had to get some rest. After all, he had all the time in the world…

Weeks passed without a single plan forming in Sirius' mind. He would have something going, and then Severus would come in and ask if he needed anything; or he would cook a particularly delectable dinner that evening. Either way, Sirius was far too easily distracted by the perks of having a personal servant to actually plot how best to get rid of him.

Remus came and went, checking on Severus and bringing news from the outside world. Sirius was beginning to like the rhythm of it-a week or so of bossing Sev around, followed by a day or two of visiting with Remus. It was working out rather nicely, and Sirius was just too content to come up with any brilliant plans.

Of course, Sirius always did work better under pressure. Which is exactly the opportunity he got to begin hatching a plan.

It was a cold day in March when Remus found Sirius sitting in the living room, lifting a weight with one arm and throwing shelled peanuts at Kreacher with the other. The poor house elf was muttering curses as loud as he dared, and glared at Remus as he came through the door.

"Oy, Remus!" Sirius exclaimed, chucking another projectile at Kreacher's ear, "Good to see you again, mate! 'S been a while, hasn't it?"

"Quite so," Remus sat on the couch opposite his friend.

"Hey, Kreacher! I said pick those up!"

"Nasty little brat…" Kreacher muttered, stooping to disappear all of the peanuts and shuffling from the room when Sirius waved him out.

"Still being your charming old self, aren't you?" Remus sighed.

"Why, how observant of you!" Sirius wriggled his eyebrows at Remus and set down the weight, "You just love to compliment me, don't you?"

"Lay off it!" Remus chuckled a little, "How have things been here?"

"Oh, same as usual… HEY, Sevvie!" he called to the doorway, "Remus is here!"

One of the werewolf's eyebrows rose at Sirius' amiable tone. There wasn't any hint of disdain or sarcasm. Soon, Severus entered the room carrying a tray with tea and biscuits on it.

"Good to see you, Master Lupin," Severus kneeled next to Remus and placed the tray on the coffee table.

"Uh… Same to you, Severus… Please, how many times must I ask you to call me Remus?"

"I apologize," Severus bowed to him, "but I am forbidden by the Wizarding Slave Law of 1483, which states-"

"That's enough, Sev," Sirius said with a bit of irritation in his voice, "We don't need a bloody history lesson…"

"Very well, Master," Severus stood and left the room. Remus stared after him with his eyebrows raised.

"He's looking a bit healthier this time…"

"Yeah, well…" Sirius muttered, taking a biscuit, "I sort of have to let him eat every now and then, don't I?"

"I suppose…" Remus sipped his tea, which was flavored exactly the way he liked it. He had to admit, Severus was good… "Sirius, I've noticed you have been making a conscious effort to be decent to Severus… I applaud you for it."

"Don't mention it…"

"That being said," Remus set down his cup and looked Sirius directly in the eye, sternly, "I must ask when and how you are going to undo what you've done…"

"Don't worry so much!" Sirius leaned back in his chair, "I've got it all under control! He'll be back to his sniveling old self in no time… Once I think of something…"

Remus sighed. That's what he was afraid of… However, both men's thoughts were interrupted when the fireplace began to crackle. The roaring fire became little more than burning embers, and the face of Albus Dumbledore appeared where the flames had once been.

"D- Dumbledore!" Sirius forced a smile on his face to hide his shock, "Been wondering when I'd hear from you, sir! I thought you were busy, what with school and all…"

"Quite so," the old man's good-natured voice issued from the hearth, "And I'm afraid I will continue to be busy for a bit… However, I was wondering how things are doing over there. Remus has been informing me, of course, but I'd like to see for myself. How is Severus?"

"Uh…" Sirius paused for a moment, "Well, not much… uh… not much worse, not much better, I suppose… Why?"

"Just wondering," Dumbledore said, "I was hoping that a little bit of excitement wouldn't harm him… You see, I was thinking of coming for a bit of a visit, and bringing along Harry and his friends. Perhaps seeing some of his students-as disliked as they may be-might help to recover some of his memories."

Sirius couldn't say anything. Remus sat on the couch, looking down into his hands. Finally, Dumbledore said, "Well, I take that as an affirmative! We'll be along first thing tomorrow morning, then!"

Sirius barely registered Dumbledore's parting words, or the fire growing back to its original glory. His mind was working so quickly, he could almost hear the whirring of the gears in his head. Remus cleared his throat and looked up at Sirius. "Well," he said, "what do you think of that? Do you see what happens when you procrastinate?"

The animagus didn't respond. Instead, he opened the double doors and called for Severus.

Remus looked up in puzzlement as the other man came into the room. "Yes, Master?" Severus asked, though he looked a bit perturbed. Afternoon was his reading time.

"No time to explain… Just stand there a minute, will you?" Sirius pulled out his wand.

"Sirius, what are you doing?" Remus was on the verge of jumping off of the couch. He had a sneaking suspicion of what Sirius was doing.

Sirius, though, didn't wait to reply to Remus. Pointing his wand at Sirius, he shouted, "_Obliviate_!"

Severus didn't know what his master was up to. He didn't have time to remember what that spell was; he didn't even have time to register Remus' furious shout. He swayed, caught in the blue light from Sirius' wand, and then fell unconscious.

**TBC**

**Well? Hope you like it! Don't worry, this isn't the end. There's still two or three chapters to go, but hopefully it'll build up the way I want it to.**


	6. Obliviated

**Notes: Here's another one for ya. After a long absence like this, I think it's only fair that I upload two chapters at once. Enjoy! ^_^**

Chapter 6: Obliviated

Remus stared at Sirius for a long time. Sirius stared back, looking more nervous than he had in a while. Then, almost reluctantly, they both looked down at Severus. He was crumpled on the floor, breathing shallowly and totally out of it. Remus glared back up at Sirius, and knelt down to put a hand on Severus' shoulder.

Sirius spoke first. "I—wow, I didn't know it would… Uh… Shit…"

"Did you **really **think that was a good idea!" Remus was livid, his voice seething like a boiling cauldron, "I **told **you that obliviating him **could seriously damage something**! Do you ever **think**?"

This time, Sirius didn't have any come-backs. He just stood there staring at Severus. He almost felt like he hadn't just done that, like this wasn't really happening. Any minute now, Severus would wake up and sneer at him, and then he could go back to hating the man instead of feeling so guilty. He hated feeling guilty for anything, but unfortunately it was impossible for him to escape it sometimes.

After a few moments of tense silence, Severus groaned and moved his hand. Remus bent over him, shaking him tenderly by the shoulder and calling his name softly. Sirius let out a sigh of relief—at least he wasn't in a coma or anything.

"Get out," Remus said suddenly.

"What?"

"Leave the room, now," the werewolf's eyes darted up to meet Sirius' for a second, "He's waking. If he remembers anything about the past two months at all, he will probably try to kill you as soon as he sees you."

"Uh, right, right," Sirius backed out of the room, closing the double doors and leaning against the opposite wall. A part of him was hoping that Severus **would **come through those doors and strangle him. At least he wouldn't have to feel guilty about possibly hurting him and/or messing up his memories permanently.

Meanwhile, Severus was indeed coming to. His eyes fluttered open, and he gazed around for some time at the ceiling and walls. Then he turned his head and looked at Remus. "Wh… what are you doing here…?" he choked out, though his speech was slightly slurred.

"Severus, do you know who I am?" Remus asked anxiously, but hopefully.

"Of course I bloody well… You're Lupin… Why are you…" Severus seemed to be shaking off the confusion a bit. He was finally able to sit up, though his head tilted to the side. Remus put an arm around his back to steady him, earning him a familiar glare.

"I don't need your help, **werewolf**."

"I daresay you do," Remus smiled, "I wonder, though… Do you know where you are?"

"Grimmauld Place," Severus muttered, "How in Merlin's name did I end up here?"

"What do you remember?"

"I was…" Severus seemed to ponder this for a moment, "I was trying to instill discipline into Potter's bowl-of-mush mind… Occlumency lessons… Yes, in my office. Why the bloody hell am I **here**?"

"You don't remember, then…" Remus looked at Severus with growing hope. Perhaps Sirius' crazy plan had worked.

"Remember what?" Severus was growing increasingly impatient. He reached up to rub his temples, but stopped when he felt something around his neck. With a look of horror on his face, he felt the collar that was still attached to him. "Dear God…"

"Severus?"

"He—Black didn't—he **couldn't**!"

"Severus, are you all right?"

"That bastard!" Severus' voice was hoarse with rage. Remus sighed; perhaps he remembered more than Remus had thought.

"Severus, please calm down…"

"C- calm—CALM DOWN!"

"Shhhh!" Remus clamped a hand over Severus' mouth and wrapped his arms around him to keep him from struggling. "Listen to me, Severus. Listen! You probably do remember what's happened, in which case I will tell you that I am sorry! Sirius is sorry, as well, though he doesn't show it." Remus pressed the struggling man against him even harder when a muffled scream of indignation issued from him, "I know, I know! I'm not trying to justify what he's done! I was horrified to find out that he had done this! Which is why… I wonder if you would be interested in getting back at him…"

Severus stopped struggling. He picked up immediately on what Remus was saying, and his mind ran with it. He glared up suspiciously at Remus, but already he was forming a plan. Looking him in the eyes, Remus nodded as if to say that he knew exactly what was going on in the potion master's mind.

"Now listen," Remus continued, dropping his voice to a whisper against Severus' ear, "Dumbledore is coming here tomorrow, along with Harry and his friends. They are coming to see if they can jog your memory, as well as to visit with Sirius and myself."

Severus didn't move or make a sound. His eyes were boring into Remus'.

"I promise that whatever you plan to do, I will support you one-hundred percent. He has had this coming to him for a long time, so I will follow your lead. All right?"

"…Fine…" Severus said quietly when Remus released him, "Not a word to anyone, Lupin. Understand?"

"Of course," Remus helped Severus to his feet, then gave him an oddly amused look, "What have you got planned, then?"

"Just follow my lead…" Severus said, and then pushed the doors open.

Sirius was leaning against the wall still, lost in thought. When the doors opened, he squared his shoulders and prepared for an assault. Severus' eyes went wide when they found his, and for a moment Sirius wondered if Severus was surprised to see him there. Then, without any warning, Severus launched himself at Sirius and clung to him fiercely.

"Master!" Severus cried, shocking both Sirius and Remus with his tone of voice. It was very whiny and joyful.

"Uh… Um…" Sirius looked at Remus helplessly, but his friend only shrugged.

"Oh, Master, I had a horrible dream!" Severus looked up at Sirius, and his eyes shone with emotion. Sirius was totally unprepared for it. "I dreamed I wasn't your slave at all, Master! I was a teacher at a large school, where people wanted me to make choices and nobody would let me serve them! It was terrible!" Sirius barely heard the last part; Severus had buried his face in his "master's" chest again and was sobbing. The man was actually **sobbing**. Sirius could feel his shirt getting wet.

"Well, Sirius," Remus said after clearing his throat, "Looks like you got what you wanted. He's totally subservient now. Good luck explaining this to Dumbledore tomorrow…" With that, he walked into the kitchen, leaving a sobbing Severus and a bewildered Sirius. _"Damn him, he's too good of an actor…" _Remus thought as the door closed, _"Perhaps it comes with years of spying…" _

Sirius was feeling depressed. That was the only word he could think of to describe his current mood. Dumbledore and the kids would be there the next day, and all Severus could do was dote on him and make him look like the most horrible person in the world.

"Master, do you want some tea?" Severus crooned, clinging to Sirius' elbow and fawning like a love-struck girl.

"No…" Sirius sighed. He dared not to push Severus away; he felt bad enough having the guy simpering and fussing around him. _"The hell of it is, this is what I asked for…" _Sirius thought with a pang of self-loathing. Why did he always get into these messes? It wasn't just that Severus was completely gaga over him now; he could have gotten used to that part. It was the fact that Severus was going to be doing this in front of Dumbledore and Harry. If his godson didn't think of him as the scum of the earth, he would after seeing this. As for Dumbledore, Sirius was sure he would be sent back to Azkaban after **this **performance…

"Severus," Sirius said finally, and Severus rushed to kneel at his side again, "I'm kinda tired… Think you could leave off the slave thing and go to bed or something?"

"Yes, Master. Of course," Severus bowed to him and stood, walking straight to the foot of Sirius' bed. Sirius felt his mouth fall open when Severus curled up at the foot of the bed and, arranging himself like a cat, laid his head down and closed his eyes.

"Severus," Sirius tapped him on the shoulder, "this is **my **bed. **Your **bed is down the hall. Remember?"

"But, Master…" Severus looked up at Sirius pleadingly, "I have always slept at your feet… It is something you always required of me, in case you should ever need anything in the night."

"Well, I gave you your own room," annoyance came through in Sirius' tone this time, "Go sleep there."

"Please, Master, don't…" Severus' eyes began shining with tears again, and Sirius' eyes widened in panic.

"Hey, don't cry again! Please!"

"Please don't ask me to spend the night away from you…" Severus was on the verge of crying; already his voice had a sob-like quality to it, "I—I can't do it, Master! Please!"

With a cry of his own, Sirius felt himself fall to the bed as Severus suddenly clutched him around the neck and began sobbing in earnest. "Wh—what have I- I d- d- done, Master? Why are you t- treating me l- like a b- bad slave? A- a- am I not… loyal e- enough?"

Sirius felt like crying, as well. "N- no, Sev, not at all! Forget about it!" he placed a hand tentatively on Severus' quaking shoulder, "Look, if you really want to stay, then stay, all right? Bloody hell, Severus, stop crying!"

Severus sniffled and looked up at Sirius. "You are not angry with me?"

"No! Now sod off—er, I mean, stop sobbing," Sirius had almost sent Severus into tears again, "Just… get into bed, OK? On the far side!"

"Thank you master!" Severus smiled broadly and slipped under the covers on the opposite side of the bed, snuggling in and giving Sirius an adoring look that made Sirius want to punch the git. How was he ever going to get him to stop acting like this?

"_It's your fault, you know…" _a small voice in his head piped in, but he dismissed it hurriedly. He had just been having a bit of fun; it wasn't his fault of Severus had to go and ruin it. _"You didn't think that when you thought you'd killed him," _the voice said again, and Sirius crossed his arms and grunted in annoyance. How was he ever going to explain this to Dumbledore in a way that didn't make him look like a slime ball?

Suddenly, his thoughts were interrupted by Severus' arms wrapping around him from behind. "What the hell are you **doing**?" Sirius turned to face a wide-eyed Snape. Correction: he turned to face a wide-eyed, shirtless Snape.

"Master, you don't want one of my special massages?" Severus asked, "You always want one whenever you ask me to sleep in the bed instead of at the foot of it… Remember?"

This time, Sirius **did **cry.

**TBC**

**Well, I hope this is turning out like you guys hoped it would. I told you Sirius would get his—but remember, he hasn't gotten it completely yet… heheheh… Anyway, I appreciate hearing what you think of the story! Remember, I am very open to criticism! Thanks for reading, and look forward to the next chapter sometime this month… I hope… ^_^'**


	7. Out of the Frying Pan

**Notes: Oh, wow… I've really neglected this story. I'm sorry, everyone! Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing; I've really appreciated all the feedback, and it spurs me on to continue! I was just being lazy about it, I guess… I've been busy with school, and with other fanfics… Sorry! I haven't forgotten this one. I've already planned out the ending, and I can't wait to write the next chapter! Until then, I hope you enjoy this one! **

Chapter 7: Out of the Frying Pan…

Remus and Severus sat on the couch in the drawing room, watching amusedly as Sirius paced the length of the room, nearly panicked and half mad. He looked almost as bad as he had when he'd come out of Azkaban.

"All right!" he kept saying, apparently intending to expound on whatever idea this phrase was meant to introduce, but losing it just as quickly, "All right…!"

"Master?" Severus piped innocently, though Remus caught the wicked gleam in his eye.

"_The little sadist," _Remus thought, then said aloud, "Sirius, **do **calm down. You'll wear out the floor."

"All right!" Sirius finally bellowed, halting and turning to the two on the sofa, his fists balled and resting on his hips, his feet planted firmly. This was a man with a battle plan. "We can't let Dumbledore or the kids know about all this, right?"

"About what, Master?" Severus asked.

"About you being my slave!" Sirius sighed, running a hand through his messy hair, "It's just… Well, he's a very… uh… h- he's a…" he struggled to find the right words, struggled to come up with a convincing lie to cover for his growing string of lies. He didn't notice, but Severus smiled a little. "Dumbledore is a very bad man!" the Gryffindor finally stated, "He' s going to try to take you away from me if he finds out you're my slave, so… So just don't act like it, all right?"

"Master, how can you ask that of me?" Severus was getting dewy-eyed again, and Sirius groaned loudly. Remus tried his best to keep from laughing. "I live to serve you, Master…" Severus continued, "I must! I cannot slack in my duties!"

"Well, I'm ordering you to!" Sirius said, "Or else I'll sell you, got it?"

"M- Master?"

"Don't call me that!" Sirius growled, "Look, I- I don't… want him… to take you… away…" he ground out the words as if they were too heavy for his tongue to move, a grimace on his face.

"I understand," Severus said, smiling a little, "I shall do my best, Mr. Black."

"Ugh, don't—well, then again, that's a bit better…" Sirius sighed, dropping into the nearest armchair, "Look, they'll all be here soon, so just… Just try not to slip up and call me 'Master' or try to serve anyone, OK? In fact, keep your mouth shut. Play at being mute!"

"Yes, Sir," Severus nodded his head, the tag on his collar clinking as he did so.

"Damn it all!" Sirius suddenly leapt up and reached for Severus' neck, "The stupid collar! Give it here…"

"NO!" Severus shocked the other two by leaping over the back of the couch, his hands clutched protectively around his neck, "Master, not my collar. Please!"

"Don't be a git!" Sirius shouted, "The minute Dumbledore sees that, he'll know everything! Give it to me!"

"No!"

"Severus…"

"No!"

"Don't be so unreasonable!"

"NO!"

"Damn you!" Sirius threw his hands up, stalking into the hallway, shouting behind him, "Fine, keep the damn thing on! But **cover it up, **do you hear me?"

"Yes…" Severus said, and then added in a low tone, "my _master_…"

There was the sound of a door slamming upstairs. Once he was sure they were alone, Remus turned to Severus and said, "You are downright **brutal**!"

"He deserves it," Severus slid back onto the sofa, leaning back casually, "You said you would go along with whatever I had planned, you know."

"Oh, of course," Remus smiled, earning a raised eyebrow from Severus, "I was applauding you for it, actually. Good show."

"Hm. Well, stick to your role, and it will be," Severus turned away from Remus then, but the werewolf still thought he saw a faint smile on the stoic man's face.

XXXXX

Dumbledore and the kids were precisely on time. "Damn them…" Sirius muttered, turning to Severus and Remus. The three were in the kitchen, and Sirius answered Dumbledore's shout of greeting before whispering, "Now, remember. No slave stuff! Don't let that bad man know you're my slave, OK?"

"Yes, Sirius," Severus' tone was sickeningly sweet. Remus almost choked on his toast.

"Good, good!" Sirius bit his lip and jittered about nervously before rushing into the hall, "This could work…" he mumbled.

Dumbledore, Harry, Ron, and Hermione were all in the hallway, waiting to be greeted. Dumbledore had just placed a large, folded umbrella into the rack by the door. A light spring rain was falling outside.

"Good to see you all again!" Sirius said, and he meant it. It was good to see his godson and friends, and he gave Harry a big hug. However, he couldn't bring himself to look Dumbledore in the eye.

"Glad to see you well," Dumbledore said, shuffling past in the narrow hallway and walking into the sitting room, "I believe I'll just make myself comfortable. I was under the impression that Remus was still here."

"Yeah, he's in the kitchen," Sirius said, "Why don't you all go on into the sitting room with Dumbledore? I'll go get Remus and Se—er, Snape."

"Is it a bad thing to want him to **not **be back to normal?" Ron mumbled as he followed Harry and Hermione into the drab living room, "I mean, maybe he's nicer?"

"Ron, that **is **a bad thing," Hermione said, but the scolding was only half-hearted, "He's a teacher! We should wish him well!"

"Yeah, and don't forget I'm the one who put him like this," Harry said, "Though maybe if he never recovers, he won't kill me…"

"Now, now, Severus wouldn't do anything so rash!" Dumbledore said good-naturedly, "Let us all hope for the best, shall we?"

"Sure…" the kids muttered, but they all exchanged nervous glances when their potions master entered the room. His manner of walking was certainly different than before. He didn't stalk or sweep into the room; he simply walked. The look on his face was guarded, yet definitely more pleasant than his usual scowl.

"Ah, Severus!" Dumbledore rose and placed his hands on the dark-haired man's shoulders, "I trust you remember who I am?"

"…Mr. Dumbledore…" Severus said, his eyes widening in recognition, "Of course I remember you."

"Good!" Dumbledore sat back down, leaving room for Severus to sit next to him, "Are you well, dear boy?"

"Yes, quite," Severus said, then turned to look at the three teenagers sitting on the opposite couch, "And your young friends…"

"Ah, you do not remember Mr. Potter?"

"…Perhaps…" for just a second, though he couldn't be sure, Harry thought he saw a flash of malice in the dark eyes, "You found me after the accident, didn't you?"

"U- uh… Yes, Sir… I did," Harry couldn't help but feel nervous. Something wasn't right here.

"Such a… _diligent _young man… to get help so quickly…"

Harry could swear he heard ominous bells tolling.

"Well, as you know, Harry here is a student of yours," Dumbledore continued, seemingly oblivious to the suddenly tense atmosphere and oblivious that Remus, who sat beside Severus, nudged the man a bit, "This young lady is Hermione Granger, another student of yours. And this young man is Ron Weasley, yet another of your students."

"Charmed," Severus said in a tone that was too quiet. The atmosphere in the room was getting tenser. Severus wore a look of utter confusion, and he looked back and forth between Dumbledore and Sirius. Sirius was obviously nervous, biting his lower lip and refusing to sit still. Remus seemed very amused, yet showed a hint of anxiety in the way he drummed his fingers against the armrest.

Finally, the silence was broken when Severus said, "Forgive me, Mr. Dumbledore, but I do not remember being a tutor… If you don't mind me asking, what do I teach?"

"Why, potions of course," Dumbledore's brow furrowed a bit, "I told you a while ago, back at Hogwarts. You teach potions there."

"Ah, that is right," Severus said, though Sirius began to fidget, "But I had been employed in another line of work… Surely I was not a full-time teacher?"

"SO," Sirius burst out, standing finally and turning to face everyone present, "Easter holiday, eh? What's everyone got planned?"

"Another line of work?" Dumbledore ignored Sirius' question and stared hard into Severus' eyes, "Are you, perhaps, remembering something?"

"Oh, yes… I- I seem to remember serving someone," Severus said, a bit confusedly, and Sirius began to chatter in a long string of unbroken exclamations.

"I just love Easter!" he said loudly, "When I was little, we used to have LOADS of food! A big banquet! Some of the best times spent in this house, and you know how few they were! Hahahah!"

"Um, yes, Sirius," Dumbledore was the confused one now, but Severus smirked a bit. He knew that Dumbledore would only think of Voldemort when he said anything about being a servant. However, Sirius would think otherwise. He would think that his cover was about to be blown.

It was a very tense day, and it only got worse. Remus did his best to entertain the kids, keeping them engaged in conversation and light defense against the dark arts tutorials. The three—particularly Harry—were getting a bit perturbed that Sirius seemed only to want to talk to Dumbledore.

"Really, he can talk to him all the time," Harry said, glancing over as Sirius told yet another silly joke with great elaborations, sound effects, and waving of his arms, "We only get to see him a few times!"

"Yes, well, he's just a bit… ah… distracted at the moment," Remus said, "Now, if you'll watch me closely, I'll show you how to set a trap for pixies…"

"This is all fascinating, Professor—er, Mr. Lupin," Hermione said, "but really, what **is **going on here?"

"Sirius' gone nuts, I reckon," Ron said, "Least he acts like it… He acts like he's hiding a bloody corpse in the closet or something!"

"Well, you know how he can be," Remus said dismissively.

"That's all very amusing, Sirius," Dumbledore's voice sounded a bit exasperated, "But I must ask you, don't you want to spend some time with your godson? I really must speak with Severus…"

"Er… Yeah, sure…" Sirius gave Severus a warning look as he left the two on the sofa and joined the others on the other side of the room, "Hey, guys! What's up?"

Sirius was really doing his best to stay calm, and Remus commended him. Then Dumbledore said, "Severus, isn't it warm enough in here? Do take that scarf off, you'll burn up!"

XXXXX

**TBC**

**Sorry it was so short! I just didn't want to make this the last chapter, as it would make it disproportionately long compared to the others… Anyway, as I said, I've planned it out! I'll focus on this story now, so I hope to have the last chapter written soon. As always, thank you for reading! I always appreciate feedback, and I thank you all for pushing me on! It's been fun writing this. ^_^**


	8. All Hell Breaks Loose Again

**Notes: Well, I'm back! I went to see **_**Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2**_**, and it got me back in an HP mood! Sorry to keep you all waiting! It took me a while to write this chapter, but I hope it's OK.**

**Oh, and to me-me: I hope I don't disappoint you! I'm not very good at long stories, actually… ^^; Whenever I've tried to keep a story going, I end up branching off and then not knowing how to end it. I'll keep this one going for as long as I can, but ultimately I think it'll end very soon… Sorry… -_-**

Chapter 8: All Hell Breaks Loose… Again

Sirius didn't think it could actually get worse, but he had been terribly wrong. Groaning to himself, his knees nearly knocking together, he watched as Severus' hands slowly rose to grab the green and silver scarf around his neck. It had been Regulus', sitting in a dusty closet for years, and it had been the only thing Sirius could think of that could stand between him and certain doom. Now it was held in Severus' slender hands as the amnesiac looked towards his "master" with an inquiring look.

"Wait!" Sirius leapt from the couch and went back to stand beside Severus, "He, uh, just got over a little cold! He needs this!"

All was silent in the room. Ron snorted a bit, muttering something about the world going mad. Remus could barely repress a face-palm gesture. Severus, on the other hand, beamed. His smile surprised everyone else as much as Sirius' outburst had.

"You… you do care…" Severus whispered, though everyone heard him clearly in the gravely silent room.

"Yeah, well, I don't want you coughing all over my stuff!" Sirius said desperately.

"Oh, Sirius…" Severus sighed, dreamy-eyed, and before Sirius could say anything else he leaned over and nuzzled his chest.

In Sirius' mind, everything had just gone to pot. He couldn't move, yet his mental processes were racing, grasping at what to do next. All of the strain of the day had caught up to him, and now something that would have been easily brushed off seemed to him a gigantic deal. He felt as if he'd been hit dead-on by an atomic bomb. He felt like everything was utter chaos, though nobody in the room moved. From his point of view, he was looking pretty screwed right now.

"Well, you two seem to have gotten friendlier," Dumbledore remarked a bit cheerfully as everyone else stared with their mouths hanging open. Even Remus, who was in on the plan, couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. Severus just kept nuzzling, tears in his eyes and a blush on his cheeks, hands clasped together and brought up to his chest in a gesture of reverent happiness; and Sirius just stood there with his mouth opening and closing, obviously unsure of what to do.

Finally, Sirius seemed to get himself in order again. He slapped Severus away suddenly, stepping back with a glare. "The git just keeps doing things like this!" he shouted, "He's gone funny in the head; I dunno why! **I **certainly didn't do it!"

Severus was determined to override Sirius' outburst with one of his own. "B- but… **But Master**!" he suddenly cried, falling to his knees and rocking back and forth, clutching himself around the shoulders, "Why did you hit me? WHY? I- I'll be good, I promise!"

"Shh! Don't-" Sirius' plea couldn't come out all the way.

"You said you **liked** it when I hugged you!" Severus wailed.

That sinking feeling in Sirius' gut started feeling more like a ton of bricks.

Dumbledore was instantly kneeling beside Severus, trying to soothe him with a comforting hand around the shaking shoulders. Sirius stood there stuttering, obviously going into panic mode. Remus couldn't hold it in any longer, and he cracked up, leaning over the arm of the couch and laughing helplessly. His gasping, choking laughter filled the room. Harry's face scrunched up in a confused look, and he kept saying "Master?" to himself, unbelieving what he had just heard. Hermione crossed her arms and gave her best "I told you so" look to Harry, while eyeing Remus suspiciously.

"Well, that's it," Ron said finally, glancing at the hysterical werewolf, "The world **has **gone mad."

"Perhaps it would be best if I spoke with him alone," Dumbledore said after a long silence, looking directly at Sirius. The Gryffindor continued to stutter for a bit, and then hung his head in resignation and walked out of the room. The others followed, and on his way out Remus gave Severus an appraising look. The man was a damned good actor, he thought.

With the others out of the room, Dumbledore gently led Severus to one of the couches. "Dear boy, what is the matter?" he asked, "Just who were you calling 'Master'?"

"I- I believe I was having a flash-back…" Severus said, shaking for dramatic effect but trying to give the impression that he was beginning to calm down, "There was a man, kicking me…" A flash of anger went through him as he recalled that particular memory; drawing on it was risky, and perhaps foolish, but damned if it wasn't worth it to hear the panic in Sirius' voice.

"You must have been thinking of Voldemort…" Dumbledore said somberly, "It's all right, Severus. Your memories are returning—the good and the bad. This means that you should be able to receive treatment for your amnesia now. What damage was done is now mending itself, and your mind is now stable enough for treatment. So you'll be able to go back to your life in no time." _"I won't even ask about the snuggling..." _Dumbledore thought.

"I will?" Severus looked up at the old man hopefully, feeling a little guilty for lying to the one person he truly respected, "Th- that would be… nice, I think…"

"It's all right now," Dumbledore stood with a pat to Severus' head and a smile, "I'll inform Madame Pomfrey right away."

The two exited the room, and found everyone else in the kitchen. Severus went to sit beside Sirius, who had his head clutched in his hands. The others surrounded him, seemingly in the middle of interrogating him. Dumbledore took a seat opposite Sirius.

"Well, he's all right now," the old wizard said, "Just a bit of a bad memory popping up. You do recall that he was once a Death Eater…"

Sirius' hands hit the table as his head snapped up. He hadn't thought of that before. _"Why did I allow myself to get so flustered?" _he thought, glancing at Severus, who was looking at Dumbledore calmly.

"I shall meet with Madame Pomfrey as soon as I return to Hogwarts," Dumbledore continued, "and we will bring a potion along shortly to bring Severus' memories back."

"Thank God!" Sirius cried in obvious relief, "Then he'll be out of my hair!"

"Quite so," Dumbledore smiled, "Though from the display earlier, I'd say you two are getting along just fine."

"Uh, yeah, well…" Sirius withdrew, not sure of what to say. It was true that he hadn't tried to do anything to hurt or humiliate Severus in quite a while, though in hindsight he supposed that the whole mess was his fault in the first place. The prank had been hilarious, but now Sirius felt that if he pulled any more elaborate jokes like this his heart wouldn't be able to take it. _"Talk about stress," _he thought, leaning back in his chair and sighing, _"With humor like this, who needs drama?" _

The rest of the conversation turned towards other things; the kids talked excitedly of school, of Quiddich, of social dramas and everyday little scuffles and gossip. Sirius began to relax; he was enjoying the visit, and for a while he put earlier events out of his mind. The day ended with an amusing demonstration on various prank potions, presented by Remus and Severus, who seemed to remember how to brew such potions. Remus was surprised that Severus would even participate, though; he didn't think anything in the world, not even revenge, could goad Severus into having a good time with other people.

As the sun set on a rain-soaked city, Dumbledore bid farewell to everyone else, promising to return the following day to collect the teenagers and bring the memory potion to Severus. "I trust you can handle things until then?" the headmaster said, his eyes twinkling mysteriously as he nearly grinned at Sirius.

"Oh, yeah, why not?" Sirius said, "I'll have Harry and the others to keep me company, so I can ignore Sev- er, Snivellus."

"Quite so, quite so…" with a final wave to the others, Dumbledore was out the door with his umbrella, and he vanished as soon as he got to the bottom of the porch stairs.

Sirius closed the door with an obvious sigh of relief. He re-entered the living room with a bounce in his step, grinning. He even smiled at Severus, who sat placidly next to Remus on one of the couches. Harry and Ron were sitting opposite them, on another couch. Hermione stood by the wall of bookshelves, giving Sirius a sideways glance. He ignored her and plopped into his favorite armchair.

It looked as if things would be all right after all. The danger that was Dumbledore was gone now, and he only had to wait one night before getting Severus cured and shipped back off to Hogwarts, where he would be safely out of the way to allow Sirius some time to gloat to himself. He tilted his head back, closing his eyes calmly.

"You seem tired," Hermione said from across the room, "Surely our visit can't have exhausted you that much?"

"No, I'm just relaxing," Sirius said smoothly. Of course Hermione would be suspicious. She was very much like Remus; always poking her nose into other people's business. Sirius rather liked her for the same reasons that he had liked Remus before they became such good friends. What fun was being such a mischievous devil when there was nobody around to protest?

Sirius didn't consider the problems posed by Harry, Ron, and Hermione, though. He hadn't thought they would be a problem, but unfortunately he had neglected to tell Severus to act the same around them as he did around Dumbledore. Sirius' eyes shot open when he felt someone come close, and looked down to see Severus kneeling in front of him.

"Master, I'm so happy that the bad man is gone!" Severus said with a little sigh, "He told me all sorts of lies! How could I be a full-time potions teacher when I serve you? And he wants to take me away from you, as well! Oh, Master, you were right about him!"

The self-proclaimed mischievous devil groaned loudly and let his head flop back against the back of the chair as Severus hugged his knees. He didn't need to look to see that the kids were staring at him. Their eyebrows were probably getting stuck in the cobwebs on the ceiling, and their lower jaws were bound to be sweeping the floor. He heard Hermione clear her throat, an obvious invitation to explain himself. Remus' silence spoke volumes; not that Sirius expected him to stick up for him, but it would have been nice.

With another heavy sigh, he lifted his head back up and began yet another explanation.

XXXXX

**TBC**

**Yay! Another chapter done, and it looks like there might be a few more to go yet. I keep dithering on the ending; I know how I want to end it, but I'm still not sure on what route I want to take to get there. Anyway, as always, I appreciate that you've read this far! Drop me a review to tell me what you think, K? ^_^**


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